Long time no see

Hai haiiiii. Miss this blog already. Many stories I wanna share, but they're just too much to be types.

     I've choose some decisions, I'm going to brand my new day. It's not about pain and hurt anymore. I'm gonna be me, myself and I.
    Furthermore, I hope everything going good. Every decisions, every choices, I hope they're all the best. Wish happiness will always surrounding me. I hope Allah will grant my prays.
    Well, I lost words. I'm going to editing ma pictures. See ya!

My way

This is the determination day. Now or not at all. By the good way nor the rude one. I love you.

   I'm ready for every possibility that might be happen. I'm pretty sure I deserve it.

 Too many time wasted to thinking this decision.

I'm excited to be apart, I'm glad I can be so strong this far, I'm happy to see you free, I'm hurted.

   Well, well, well, I'm so proud to myself, no matter what happened before, I'm so thankful and grateful for Allah's gift, for you.

I'm overwhelmed imagine how we can act normally next meeting, it might be so hard right? but I must understand, keep patient, and take lessons from every incident. Ohh God's loved me.

Someday

Hey you dear, someone who light up my life like the brightest lamp in the world tsaaaaaah
     Some plans had broken again, I'm extremly tired and sick of this holy shit. But, somehow I know we're gonna be fine.

Things I regret, my mood. I'm a moody girl. My bad or good mood turn so fast and make me fuckin' stress.
     I'm so glad you're here. I think this is the God's way to taught me to be better, to control my mood, be a patient girl, make me mature, and grateful for everything I have.

Well, I'm teenager, my life's too perfect if I spend it just for cry and sad and down and blahblahblah. I'm gonna throw my sorrow away, I'm gonna leave nothing to be remembered, I'm gonna be in love with you and my life begin again, again, and again.

Loverain

     Gerimisnya masih awet. Bisa kupastiin tanah merah di pemakaman itu juga masih basah tentunya. Dengan kelopak bunga yang mulai layu, lemas terbawa air hujan. Masih keinget kok dentuman senapan yang dihujamkan para pasukan berseragam itu kelangit, juga pidato para petinggi daerah yang turut datang kemarin.
     Sudah 2 hari, rasanya baru sebentar sekali kami mengenal satu sama lain. Tidak sebentar tentunya, sudah bertahun, namun masih sangat lekat dalam ingatan. Aku masih bisa mengingat beberapa detail kejadian-kejadian lucu, sedih, memalukan, nekat, dan hal-hal aneh lain bersamanya. Haha aku ingat bagaimana ia tertawa. Mata masih sembap, hidung masih meler, dan namanya masih tak lepas dari do'aku....
     Seminggu kelas terasa kosong, kursi itu masih ga ada penggunanya. Kadang guru-guru suka berhenti berbicara bila tersentak saat melihat kursi tersebut. Kursi paling depan sebelah kanan. Ada tanda khusus disana, coretan tipe-x berbentuk tanda tangan Putra.
     Sekitar 2 bulan sebelum meninggal, Putra ngasih aku sebuah buku harapan, dia bilang aku bisa nulis semua cita-cita aku disana. Dia bilang, dia bakal ngebantuin aku ngewujud-in semua harapan aku itu. Kami mulai nulis, halaman pertama konyol. "Pengin beli eskrim rasa duren yang ada vanilla chips-nya". Padahal Putra benci duren banget, tapi dibela-belain pulang sekolah hujan-hujanan kita nyari eskrim itu sama-sama. Ga ketemu, udah 2jam-an nyari, akhirnya kita berenti di kios durian, beli durian montong yang lumayan gede, terus kerumah Putra. "Selama kita bisa bikin, kenapa musti capek nyari-nyari coba" Kata Putra. "Kenapa baru kepikiran siiiih" Sambil ngejitakin kepala Putra, dia nyengar nyengir doang.
Eskrimnya jadi, lengkap dengan vanilla chips-nya, enak, tapi....lembek... Aku sodor-sodorin ke Putra, mulutnya mingkem rapet. Kata mamanya dulu si Putra bisa ampe muntah kalo nyiumin duren, kalo skrg sih cuman ga mau makannya.
     Halaman dua "Ulangan Sosiologi dapet minimal 95!!". Putra masih bantuin aku, kita belajar pulang sekolah, sambil nunggu hujan reda. mulai ngapalin isi catetan sosiologi, Dan gotcha! hasil ulangan 97 malah. Halaman selanjutnya "Keliling Mall pakek sendal swallow" masih terwujud, selanjutnya lagi "Nonton film melow siapa yang nagis paling deres" juga terwujud, terus "Manjat pohon rambutan, lomba siapa yang manjatnya paling tinggi" tetep terwujud, padahal gerimis, batang pohon licin, hampir si Putra jatuh. Selalu gerimis-hujan, rasanya ga lengkap kalo ga ngedenger rintik air di sekitar.
     Lama-kelamaan harapannya makin ngawur, lebih cocok jadi buku tantangan haha, dasar berdua sama-sama otak teror, suka ngejatuhin satu sama lainnya, tapi solid, that's something I can't explain, it was the mystery. Tinggal satu harapan "Nungguin gerimis berhenti, sampe pelangi muncul dari atas pohon rambutan itu". Tapi... Putra keburu pergi, aku ga tau sebabnya, tiba-tiba dia masuk rumah sakit, terus meninggal. Ini sudah seminggu semenjak kepergian Putra, sore ini gerimis lagi, aku pergi ke pohon rambutan tongkrongan kami. Manjat, ketempat biasa si Putra sering duduk, ada guratan disana, mungkin Putra yang nulis. "Air hujan ini, aku suka, suka sekali".

Fighter-Christina Aguilera

[Spoken:]
After all that you put me through,
You think I'd despise you,
But in the end I wanna thank you,
'Cause you've made me that much stronger

Well I thought I knew you, thinkin' that you were true
Guess I, I couldn't trust called your bluff time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were there by my side, always down for the ride
But your joy ride just came down in flames 'cause your greed sold me out in shame

After all of the stealing and cheating you probably think that I hold resentment for you
But uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do, I wouldn't know
Just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it

[Chorus:]
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Never saw it coming, all of your backstabbing
Just so you could cash in on a good thing before I'd realize your game
I heard you're going round playing the victim now
But don't even begin feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave
After all of the fights and the lies 'cause you're wanting to haunt me
But that won't work anymore, no more,
It's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now and never back down
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it

[Chorus]
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

How could this man I thought I knew
Turn out to be unjust so cruel
Could only see the good in you
Pretend to not to see the truth
You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself
Through living in denial
But in the end you'll see
YOU-WON'T-STOP-ME

I am a fighter and I
I ain't gonna stop
There is no turning back
I've had enough

[Chorus]
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
You thought I would forget
But I, I remembered
'Cause I remembered
I remembered
You thought I would forget
I remembered
'Cause I remembered
I remembered

[Chorus]
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter